Month: November 2019

TRUST OFFICIAL DISAPPEARS UP HIS OWN ARSE

Ut evanui sursum a rectum iriParamedics were called to the office of an unnamed local health trust official, today. Shocked colleagues telephoned them, after they had discovered that the official had disappeared up his own arse.

After an emergency operation, the official in question is said to be “comfortable”.

This is the fourth incident of it’s type in the county, during the last few months.

Consultant proctologist at West Wales General Hospital, Lewis Richardson, told the Scar, “It is a very worrying situation. When I was younger we only used to see this condition among certain politicians, but recently we have seen it spreading to local health officials, council planning and building control officers and a local voluntary organisation”.

The condition, latin name “Ut evanui sursum a rectum iri”, is not thought to be life threatening, but is extremely annoying to anybody that comes into contact with the sufferer.


The unnamed trust official is thought to have been heavily involved in the “downgrading” of local hospital services.

RAINBOW ALLIANCE STILL POSSIBLE

A Plaid Cymru-led “Rainbow Alliance” Welsh Assembly Government is possible again after Lib Dems voted to revive a coalition plan with other opposition parties. A special Liberal Democrat meeting has voted 125-77 to resume talks once more. It came only days after Labour’s Rhodri Morgan being reappointed first minister, when the first talks between the parties broke down.

A series of meetings is being arranged between the “Alliance” party leaders, Zippy(Ieuan Wyn Jones), George (Nick Bourne) and Bungle (Mike German).

In a statement released today, Bungle said, “What it has said, quite clearly, is that we want to give the people of Wales that fresh start, that new approach which this all-Wales government could do for it. Up above the streets and houses, rainbow climbing high, everyone can see it smiling over the sky”.

Резултат слика за Rainbow Alliance

Asked to comment on the Liberal Democrats’ “U-turn”, Zippy said, “This means that a range of outcomes are back on the table, including a Plaid-led government. All along the streams and rivers, shining in the lakes, see the colours of the rainbow as the morning breaks. Paint the whole world with a rainbow”.

These sentiments were echoed by George, who told the Scar, “I remain of the belief that a non-Labour alternative in Cardiff is important to bring a sense of direction to government in Wales and a sense of direction to our country. Take some green from a forest, blue from the sea, find the misty pot of gold, and mix them for a week. Paint the whole world with a rainbow”.

Is my doctor a terrorist?

After the recent botched car bomb attacks on London and Glasgow by extremist NHS clinicians, many people in the country are asking themselves, “Is my doctor a terrorist?”.
london-bridge-doctor-ignacio-echeverria-terror-attack
Many similarities between the useless planning of the terrorists and the state of the NHS have been evident over the past few days. It is now known that one of the cars used that was left in London, was parked illegally and that the bomb was only found after the car was being towed away. A few pounds put in the parking meter and the car would have raised no suspicion whatsoever.

The similarity between Doctors and Terrorists

Let us take a close look at the similarity between doctors and terrorists in the last few years.

  • One, they are hard to find on weekends.
  • Two, they don’t like paying car parking charges.
  • Three, their receptionists are surly and bad tempered.
  • Four, ITN news says that they are the same.There you have it! conclusive proof that your doctor maybe, at some time in their life, may have thought, that the invasion of Iraq, might have been a mistake and that it possibly might be a good idea if somehow this country would withdraw it’s troops in the future.

Gaming is very good

Another instructive advantage is critical thinking. There are heaps of games with riddles or none however it can even now incorporate critical thinking. A decent game for instance is Scribblenauts Unlimited. In this game you go to make better places taking care of individuals’ issues to fulfill them which gives you a thing to fix somebody. So as to take care of their issues, you need to utilize modifiers and things to take care of the issue itself or make something to take care of the issue. The best part is you can take care of that issue a wide range of ways and no chance is the incorrect way. A few games even change dependent on your decisions and we call these “ways”. A few ways can change, remain on a similar course, or end. So you have to take care of every issue the most ideal way else you may pick an inappropriate way or a way that finishes.

Another instructive advantage is response timing. On the off chance that you would prefer not to bite the dust in a specific game your response to something could be the choosing truth of your endurance or grave. The more you test your response timing the quicker you will get and soon you’ll have the option to respond to things rapidly. This can emerge out of games with battle like MMORPGs, shooters, and PvP (Player V Player).

You do a ton of these things in bingo without knowing it! At the point when you play that game you simply need to do A, G, M, and S to do whatever it is you’re attempting to do, without knowing in reality those aptitudes are in fact called B, H, N, and T and utilized in 3, 6, and 9. Isn’t it obvious? So you simply need to become accustomed to applying those aptitudes in reality.